ESP/ENG. Freelance queer artist. I draw for a living but other interests include zines, journaling, piano learning, translation, HTML coding... I like to try a bunch of stuff!
Current interests are swimming and open source software!
| Neocities | https://marstectomy.neocities.org/ |
| Tumblr | https://marstectomy.tumblr.com/ |
| Bluesky | https://bsky.app/profile/marstectomy.eurosky.social |
Keep It Together'
in cotton thread and wool on linen, 2024.
The overwhelming chaos of existence, of chronic pain, anxiety, of the world, of feeling powerless. Trying to keep it together. 💙 #art #embroidery
I decided to start learning Krita.
I'm a Clip Studio user and I enjoy the software, but after finding out about Krita's latest update (and how much of a very full software it is), I figured it would be good to learn a different art software, so I have more options when CSP lacks in something.
It's been a bit of a learning curve, but it's been going pretty good, and I enjoy the painting brushes in Krita so much more!
Since sunny.garden is all about creation, I do want to retrieve the little projects I made across the years.
This is a little plushie I made myself quite some years ago now, I also added a sketch to show what's based on, and how I kind of missed the mark haha (plushie ended up looking like a fish thing of sorts).
I don't sew anymore because it's very time consuming and I have poor management, but it feels very very nice to have little hand-sewn plushies I made myself.
Also, while I did make patterns myself for some stuff, this specifically was based on a freely available pattern of a kitty bean plus!
link to pattern: https://cholyknight.com/2017/11/10/kitty-bean-plush/
Materials: felt, thread, patience and a couple buttons, nothing fancy!
On the bright side... I have been doing other stuff: learning piano, learning HTML, attending social events, swimming, baking; just learning and trying anything I have any interest in (and find the motivation for, becuz thats still hard).
It's a bit upsetting having to figure out who I am outside of art, but it has been very beneficial. My mental health has finally begun improving, in spite of how much worse the world keeps getting, which tells me art might have been indeed much more of a crutch than I thought.
I know that in the end, this struggle will be for the best, and I'll come out of it with a more rounded version of myself, and a healthier relationship to art. So yes, while I am struggling a bit, I can't wait to become a truer self as I try new hobbies and activities 
Drawing has been a huge part of my life for a long, long time. I spent many hours in fandom communities drawing my favourite blorbos, the main driving force of my art, was the cartoons that gave me so much fun and comfort. But that hasn't been the case for... probably more than a year to be honest, if not longer.
I think I might have outgrown cartoons; I simply am no longer interested in watching stuff. And since they were the main motivation for my art, that means I've barely been drawing for fun or myself in a long time.
That has left me in a very weird spot, where something that was a huge part of my identity for almost my entire life, simply isn't anymore. It's like having a considerable chunk of your own self taken away from you. Out of habit, I keep frequenting fandom spaces, pursuing further art knowledge, but now it all feels more hollow and meaningless. I just can't connect. I look at my old fandom art, and feel nothing.
I've been trying to find motivation for art elsewhere, but no luck yet. It makes me wonder how much I actually cared for art, and how much it actually was an outlet or even a coping mechanism. Was cartoons really the whole motivator? I based my entire career and life on that! To me this is stuff that literally shakes the foundations of who I am. It is a bit scary, to be honest.
So I've been feeling lost, weird. Not only about art, but myself too. I don't mind the disconnect from art as much, but having to rebuild myself has been tough.
Fen, moss goblin