Nanny had nothing against witches being married. It wasn't as if there were rules. She herself had had many husbands, and had even been married to three of them.

- Terry Pratchett, The Sea and the Little Fishes

Character assassination. What a wonderful idea. Ordinary assassination only works once, but this one works every day.

- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

“That's not fair, you know. If we knew when we were going to die, people would lead better lives."

IF PEOPLE KNEW WHEN THEY WERE GOING TO DIE, I THINK THEY PROBABLY WOULDN'T LIVE AT ALL.

- Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

What’s so hard about pulling a sword out of a stone? The real work’s already been done. You ought to make yourself useful and find the man who put the sword in the stone in the first place, eh?

- Terry Pratchett, Men At Arms

What harm can it do to find out? It’s a question that has left bruises down the centuries, even more that ‘It can’t hurt if I only take one’ and ‘It’s all right if you only do it standing up.’

- Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“I don’t mind criticism,” said Granny. “You know me. I’ve never been one to take offence at criticism. No-one could say I’m the sort to take offence at criticism -“

“Not twice, anyway,” said Nanny.

- Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad

... history was full of the bones of good men who'd followed bad orders in the hope that they could soften the blow. Oh, yes, there were worse things they could do, but most of them began right where they started to follow bad orders.

- Terry Pratchett, Jingo

Bill Door made the mistake millions of people had tried before with small children in slightly similar circumstances. He resorted to reason.

- Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

His job was to make sense of the world, and there were times when he wished that the world would meet him halfway.

- Terry Pratchett, Snuff

Any three dwarfs having a sensible conversation will always end up having four points of view.

- Terry Pratchett, Raising Steam