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@[email protected]
18 Followers
24 Following
812 Posts
We're on hiatus
-Mar 30, 2019
My brain: We're very disappointed in ourselves today
Me: No??? We got up early and are full of motivation, did you somehow miss that we're in a really good mood and getting lots done?
My brain: We are disappoint 😁
-Mar 30, 2019

Things I recalled after last night's inebriation: Coming home to find the mouse in the kitchen has made a reappearance, realising I'll need to do more mouse-proofing

Things I did not recall: Writing "THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN!!" on the fridge in dry wipe marker to remind myself of this

-Mar 29, 2019
witchlectical runeterialistMar 29, 2019

what the fuck is this shit. bring me the head of lord bezos

image cw: birdsite, weird-ass positive transphobia, amazon

-Mar 29, 2019
I love @mauve and I have spent a substantial portion of the evening enthusing about how great he is. Because he is. Go look at him, he's great ❤️❤️❤️
Show thread-Mar 29, 2019
I have escaped second pub without further inebriation. Home for bed. @mauve is still gorgeous. It's not really relevant, but it warranted saying just in case
-Mar 29, 2019
Oh no I'm in a second pub and this is incorrect
Show thread-Mar 29, 2019
She's a bit drunk, but really wanted me to have pasta, so I'm not arguing
-Mar 29, 2019
Have managed to accidentally charm a colleague into buying me dinner???
-Mar 29, 2019
I'm hereby banning straight men from using public bathrooms
-Mar 29, 2019

Me giving controversial dating advice

Straight dude colleague: "I dunno, the chat always seems to fizzle out when I'm chatting up women. I never know what to say..."
Me: "Have you tried talking to them like people or trying to be friends?"
Straight dude colleague: "????????"