The days are long but the weeks fly by

Staring down a relapse

Spent thirty minutes today setting up an FM antenna to play barely intelligible audio I could’ve streamed through existing Bluetooth hardware all because my 90 year old boss wants to listen to the radio and my personal internal doomsday clock ticks just a few seconds closer to midnight

It’s a bitter pill realizing people only ever valued you because of the drugs in your pocket.
Stay drunk. Sobriety’s a nightmare.

Today, I had to break up with someone. Never in my life have I been the dumper. My entire life has been spent as a dumpee. It felt like living both roles in unison and the resulting crater in my chest makes me want to violate my sobriety for the first time in nearly two years.