Today I lost my best ever friend in the whole world. He came to us as a puppy 14 years ago and has been by our side ever since. His health at nearly 16 years was deteriorating but renal failure is what got him. Leo was put down at just gone midday today. He was the best dog and my best friend.

Needless to say, I am heartbroken. I am devastated. I'm glad I was there to help him off and I got to give him his usual goodnights - just for the last time. I'm glad he's not suffering any more. I'm glad for our time together. But, this is going to be hard for some time to come.

Sometimes I use the potty.

I know, I'm a class traitor.

But, hear me out. I might want to wear and use nappies but I also /need/ to wear and use nappies. So, when I need or want to keep a nappy clean and dry or its already over full and I can make it to the potty I do.

Having been functionally incontinent my whole life & diapered 24/7 for a decade and a half being dry and clean hits different. The feeling of a dry and clean nappy is very much out of the ordinary and is a very much appreciated feeling. Sometimes, right before bed I want to preserve ... that feeling.

My skin down there is as sensitive as a baby's bottom - for obvious reasons - and sleeping soggy often times leads to rashes. But also, sometimes when I'm soaked through I'm enjoying that feeling and don't want to change, or just can't be bothered to. So, sometimes I use the potty, when I'm able to anticipate the need and get to the toilet in time; in order to prolong the particular enjoyment of the nappy that I'm wearing. #confessionbear

Kitchen build will be finished by the weekend. I seriously can't wait. I really want my new kitchen, sure. But, moreover; I want to be able to walk around the house in just my nappies without a load of builders being around.

Toddling down to the kitchen in just my onesie for my morning sippy cup of coffee isn't a luxury I get to enjoy often, thanks to having to walk Leo, my super great puppy-dog. But, having the option is always nice. Having that option taken away has been psychologically difficult.

Not to mention just having other people in my house. I wanna wear baby clothes and fill my pants with abandon - gay or otherwise - (usually gay) - and other people being here gets in the way of that. That's why I really appreciate people I can feel comfortable just doing that around.

Totally still looking forward to posting finished pics of the kitchen when it's done though. It's looking amazing already, it's going to look amazing when it's finished.