I find it that days like this can be particularly difficult for those who don't have a working or functioning relationship with their fathers.

Y'know, I never really imagined I would have to, or would want to, go No-Contact with my father. It wasn't something I wanted to do when I was young.

Over the years I have developed an anxiety disorder that has bordered on crippling. Something about living in an environment where you only got attention for the sole purpose of being reprimanded, a place where I had to beg to be loved.

Truth be told, I don't think he was a truly "awful" father, he was just awful to me. Nothing can really take out the taste in someone's mouth when they recognize that other people in their household were getting preferential treatment.

Nothing can really fix how I was treated. Every time hearing your birth name sending shivers down your spine. Imagine being afraid of your own name.

The time I lived with my dad was a neverending nightmare. If anybody recognized or noticed that I was extremely flaky and/or would disappear for weeks on end, the fact of the matter was that I was being isolated from everything by my dad, my mental health spiraling and the only thing keeping me grounded being school and the very selective luxuries I was afforded. I don't think I would've been able to make it without my friends and all that my dad tried to isolate me from.

Its not something I'd wish on anybody else.

I know its not necessarily normal to have a bad functioning relationship with your dads, and I'm not going to say that you should do what I'd have to do. If you have a father who does care for you, please cherish him. Please let him know you care about him.

I wish I had the luxury to say "Happy Father's Day" to him. I didn't have the choice.