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Something very weird was happening. And if something very weird was happening, he wanted it to be happening to him
And yes I know there is an XKCD for that
I wish every baseball manager answered every performance question with "Look, we are just flailing around in a probability field. What you are witnessing is a real-world simulation from which a finite output is expected."
Da fuh?
"If you are never breaking the game, you are never making the game" he says to himself as he furiously scrambles to unfuck the build he mangled that is ruining everything and everyone
How about instead of an insert key which is more of a landmine than a functional addition to the keyboard you give me a ctrl-lock key for when I have to cut and paste 500 things which I have to do all the time
If there isn't a medical school somewhere that has a statue of a hippo and calls itself the Hippo Campus than I am ashamed for my country
Those "90% of Americans will fail this quiz" always have the opposite effect as desired because I see that and say "Well then I don't need to waste my time!"
Program drunk, debug sober

I still think about that Yo La Tengo lyric sequence from one of my favorite songs, Our Way to Fall:

"I remember your old guitar
I remember, I can't explain
I remember the way it looked around your neck
And I remember the day it broke"

My friend pointed out how drastically the song changes depending if the antecedent noun of the second "it" is different than the first "it"

Someone should do a study analyzing email information entropy. I would wager each email in a work email chain has at least 10% of its information lost due to people not fully reading and just skimming. I know I lose a lot.