JenI went round to a friend's house today.
That shouldn't be noteworthy. But it is, because it's a thing that has been lost.
Ever-increasing work expectations, longer commutes, side hustles, more disparate and distant socialising, life admin becoming ever more complex and adversarial... Our time and energy have been slowly sapped away over the last few decades.
At the same time, we've seen the rise of the influencers and oversupply of tat. Everyone must have the latest plastic prize, while also keeping our homes clutter-free and Insta-ready. But we can't, because we don't have the time or energy to throw last year's tat out, and we're caught between the shadow of make do and mend, and the guilt of waste, both saying "maybe I'll use it."
Add in a global pandemic that had us hiding away in our homes for months. Only "economically important" stuff got "back to normal," with ongoing risks poorly mitigated (barely acknowledged) across society.
No wonder it doesn't seem normal to go visit a friend. It doesn't even seem normal to genuinely mean that word: friend.
But carving out time and dedicating energy to just go and be with another human being whose presence makes you feel good is part of what makes us humans.
Maybe you need adaptations, or can only manage half an hour, or have to know plans in advance, or whatever. But that's the whole thing with friends: they will adapt to your needs. And here's the thing about making friends: asking for small favours is one of the most effective ways of turning an acquaintance into a friend. It promotes good feelings for both parties and creates a link. So *ask for what you need*.
Go visit a friend.
That shouldn't be noteworthy. But it is, because it's a thing that has been lost.
Ever-increasing work expectations, longer commutes, side hustles, more disparate and distant socialising, life admin becoming ever more complex and adversarial... Our time and energy have been slowly sapped away over the last few decades.
At the same time, we've seen the rise of the influencers and oversupply of tat. Everyone must have the latest plastic prize, while also keeping our homes clutter-free and Insta-ready. But we can't, because we don't have the time or energy to throw last year's tat out, and we're caught between the shadow of make do and mend, and the guilt of waste, both saying "maybe I'll use it."
Add in a global pandemic that had us hiding away in our homes for months. Only "economically important" stuff got "back to normal," with ongoing risks poorly mitigated (barely acknowledged) across society.
No wonder it doesn't seem normal to go visit a friend. It doesn't even seem normal to genuinely mean that word: friend.
But carving out time and dedicating energy to just go and be with another human being whose presence makes you feel good is part of what makes us humans.
Maybe you need adaptations, or can only manage half an hour, or have to know plans in advance, or whatever. But that's the whole thing with friends: they will adapt to your needs. And here's the thing about making friends: asking for small favours is one of the most effective ways of turning an acquaintance into a friend. It promotes good feelings for both parties and creates a link. So *ask for what you need*.
Go visit a friend.
Qasim Rashid, Esq.
Stewart X Addison
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