I give up. What can I do with my face to look less intimidating?
https://lemmy.world/post/11624181
I give up. What can I do with my face to look less intimidating? - Lemmy.World
The picture that made you click on this post was captured 2 weeks ago. 165lbs
5’8. I’m no longer obese, I haven’t been for months now, but I’m still stared up
and down from other strangers who are trying ascertain whether I pose a threat
or not. I’m walking forward and not acknowledging you and yet you’re fiddling
around with ur pockets or moving away from me. I could share more but people
have a tendency to question what really happened in x experience, derailing the
discussion entirely. I’m stuck in Vancouver for the foreseeable future and I’d
appreciate it if you just answered the question. I’m not interested in empty
platitudes or comments unrelated to the topic at hand. “What can I change about
my face to make the average vancouverite less scared of me”. That’s it. I’m not
expecting anyone here to be an expert on anthropology but this is an (mostly,
IDK ur OSINT but me personally idc anymore) anonymous forum. Say that I look
tired and I’ll look for surgeons who can handle complex eyelid surgeries. Id
appreciate candidness. Random assortment of photos I found within the last year.
I can’t be half assed to remove identifying information anymore.
[https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/40c45bed-615c-4e56-b6af-ad49330ee08c.jpeg]
[https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/b8f1e2f6-5c6d-4180-8432-6c34c7858711.jpeg]
[https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/4b35d80b-98bb-4e78-ac80-8cd798ce864a.jpeg]
[https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/d4f1cd3b-7aad-40a8-bc2e-a6c0441973db.jpeg]
Just please… don’t annoy me.
Being Black and autistic is awful
https://lemmy.world/post/9676573
Being Black and autistic is awful - Lemmy.World
I’m not sure where else to vent. I don’t want to seem like I’m playing the
victim as everyone else in this community is having the same executive
functioning issues I’m having and I don’t mean to distract from those things but
having to navigate these issues while being constantly reminded of my race is
exhausting. I can handle the stares from my coworkers when I head to work. I
know why they’re staring. I know what Black men are stereotyped as and a black
dude repairing laptops in a small repair shop located in a small town is a rare
sight but im used to the stares. I can handle it when people spot me walking on
the sidewalk and immediately veer straight to the road to avoid having to walk
in my direction. It’s funny at times that people will prioritize not having to
walk next to a Black man over their own safety but this is fine in a sad way.
Everyone does this. White, east asian, south asian. It doesn’t matter. What is
stressful is having people hypermonitor me. I can’t enter grocery stores anymore
because loss prevention will always try to follow me everywhere. I’ve filed
complaints but management doesnt care. They’re wasting resources having people
follow me around looking to see if i might steal but it doesnt matter. I start
stimming a lot when people watch me and this makes people even more suspicious
of my intentions. It’s immediately obvious to most people that I’m autistic
after I start doing this, but they simply don’t care. I’m also almost always
lost. I have a terrible sense of direction. This constant confusion I have as to
where I’m going is misinterpreted as me scheming or casing an area. I ask people
around where is x and they either don’t respond or nervously laugh and say they
don’t know. It seems to me that the only times I’m noticed are when someone is
trying to ascertain whether im a threat or not. I’m not human to most people.
I’ve almost been involved in fights back in high school because I get nonverbal
and struggle to maintain eye contact as soon as people confront me. I’m small
but I have a bigger frame so most people don’t mess with me. It’s bad enough
that I have both ADHD and Autism but being Black amplifies the disadvantages
these disorders have to my social life to an almost unmanageable degree. I’m
tired of having to navigate all of this. Even after paying for an expensive
psychoeducational assessment my family still thinks I’m not autistic because I
speak “like a white man”. Even after I mustered up the courage to go to
toastmasters, the head of that specific group asked me so many questions as to
why i joined and concluded his barrage of questions with “your one of the good
ones”. Noone stepped in. They all silently supported what he was doing because
I’m Black and “what could his intentions be?” Noone stepped in when I was called
a racial slur for failing to troubleshoot a customer’s complaint. My boss just
made a snide remark and said “these things happen, try not to let it get to
you”. The one romantic partner I had disclosed to me that her parents absolutely
hated Black people. We liked the same things, I cooked her food from her culture
and even learned enough of the language to follow a conversation. None of it
mattered. If her parents hated just neurodivergent people I’d be okay with that
but there was never any chance that we’d be anything more than gf/bf. My life is
pathetic. I can mask well enough and I’ve mitigated the effects of ADHD with
adderall. But I will always be Black. I get annoyed when people just tell me to
toughen up or “it’ll get better” or “it’s the anxiety talking”. None of these
things are true. Noone will say it but if you had a choice as to what race you
could be and you knew the implications it would have wrt your social life, noone
would choose to be Black. Even Africans in Africa have an inferiority complex
and my own mother laments the fact that my skin isn’t nearly as light as her.
What the fuck? I don’t know if I’m forming a coherent post anymore. This is the
first time I’m trying weed and instead of calming me down I’ve just been in a
bad state of mind. I’ve gotten nothing productive done today but I’m tired of
playing at such a severe disadvantage. At the very least let me not have autism
and adhd so im not called retarded by the people I thought were my friends. I
hate being here and I hate being me
How good would a CCNA look for Internships?
https://lemmy.world/post/9289054
How good would a CCNA look for Internships? - Lemmy.World
I am a computer networking student and i’m in an extremely lucky position next
semester. I only have to work weekends and complete a few elective courses. I
basically have four months to study and attain the CCNA. Unfortunately, I think
that employers seeking interns might see my certification as me compensating for
my grades (2.6 gpa with a bunch of withdrawn courses). Is this a well founded
fear? Thanks. I also have a couple months repairing laptops as experience but
I’m thinking of leaving that out.
I can't see how anyone thinks ADHD is a superpower.
https://lemmy.world/post/8740723
I can't see how anyone thinks ADHD is a superpower. - Lemmy.World
Sorry for the negative post but this disorder is genuinely terrible. I was
diagnosed a few months ago and from the report I received it seems like I have
an extremely bad case of it. I lost 8 percent of my final grade in an operating
system class because I submitted the wrong file. Fine, I have syncthing setup
between my desktop and laptop so I’ll just check if the assignment is on my
shared folder in my desktop. It’s not. Ok, I’ll turn on my laptop and grab the
file itself. Oh, I have a boot error and now I need to open up the recovery
environment to see if the hard drive is even being recognized. It’s not. Now I
have to open up the laptop and reconnect it. At this point it’s been 30 minutes
of me scrambling to get my laptop up and working again and I found the damn
assignment there. I emailed my professor and I’m praying that he reevaluates the
assignment because the earlier submission had nothing on it. It was just the
default assignment. None of this shit would have happened had I taken just one
second to check over what I submitted a month earlier. I hate reading articles
pertaining to ADHD as if it’s some quirky condition that just takes a little bit
of time and medication to work through. Its not. I have to constantly remind
myself that I’m even conscious in order to function at all, and now I have to
sustain extra mental effort to do a relatively hard task. The only thing that
keeps me going is my boss saying “nice work” when I diagnose an issue
successfully. It feels infantilizing, as if he knows there’s something going on
with me that’s making it hard to cope with the demands of life but “atleast he’s
trying his best, atleast he shows up to work, this customer said he had a
friendly attitude”.
How can I stop feeling guilty about the past?
https://lemmy.world/post/8180535
How can I stop feeling guilty about the past? - Lemmy.World
I’ve worked really hard getting a certification and landed an excellent part
time job. I’m in college and my grades are the best they’ve ever been despite my
increased workload but I can’t stop constantly thinking about the past. There
isn’t a moment in time where I don’t feel anxious, as if I don’t deserve this
relative success I’m having. I feel like a fraud. I don’t know if I’m making any
sense.
Is this the right community? I have a helpdesk interview next week and I dont know if my attire looks good or ridiculously goofy.
https://lemmy.world/post/6661653
Is this the right community? I have a helpdesk interview next week and I dont know if my attire looks good or ridiculously goofy. - Lemmy.World
I know I can nail the technical questions but I’m worried that i look sleazy.
The additional context wasn’t necessary but I wanted to see how the photo posts
are formatted for lemmy
