Feels like a dream/nightmare after my brief stint in an F1 race company.

I keep hitting myself thinking i shouldn't have spoken up, shouldn't have felt hurt by the exclusion behavior i was subjected to, or the helpdesk lead saying "m##a" to me on election day.

I want to let go of these thoughts, but i don't know if i can.

We had everything going.

A great paying role in a new industry i hadn't worked before.

Exciting cross skill set utilization potential of all my career background not just networking or monitoring or virtualization but scada/ICS AND infosec.

Seeing Engineering, aerodynamics, logistics, IT/Infra, facilities, support staff, marketing, esports, model building, mechatronic, and simulation all working together to produce a single product that an entire community wants to drool over.

To me it was nothing. The HOW it was being done, was what made it a thing for me. Seeing folks engaged in getting split second metrics on how wind flows over things, how those surfaces behave, how the system all links together for it's unique purpose and how my role would support it THAT was what made it cool for me.

Not the racing, that was a bonus I was warming up to around month 2 when we had the christmas party.

What I hadn't taken into account was speaking up as an outsider witnessing hazing between coworkers. What i saw was more than hazing, i'd say it was full on abuse. But i kept working.

I hadn't expected to be stalked on CCTV by the junior (called lead) network engineer.

I hadn't expected another coworker to secretly take photos of my wife and I at the party and only tell us, after the fact. Why did they take them?

I hadn't expected the network junior to also read my work log on my computer i was dumping my thoughts into to make sure i wasn't fucking crazy when i was being set up to fail in multiple directions.

I was told my daily physical checks of infrastructure facilities on campus was needless. Having experienced physical water damage, power damage, heating damage, and initial signs of electrical fires in data centers over my long career i had built up a SOP to always check before and towards the end of shift.

Those checks, saved multiple places from losing billion dollar efforts back in the states. With companies and agencies the world knows.

When i was told i was not *allowed* to do them anymore, and then the fresh grad network "lead" asked me if I was going to go do them, clearly mocking me.. idk I had to say something.

Nothing prepared me for what happened next. We lost the job, my house plans, getting my doggo over before summer, and bigger news all went sideways again.

I had spent a year prepping to come to this country, and in under three months the people i was warming up to, trusting with my expertise and routines to ensure their business kept protected, was torn apart, mocked, and ejected.

I want those that have decided to read this to know I'm doing better. I am trying to keep going. I have a new role, I have a new team to work with, already facing new and unfriendly challenges again, but i'm not stopping.

I will continue to do what i am good at, even if folks question every fiber of it.

I learned from the best, and i will continue to do so as best i can.

Because if we don't keep going, what's the point? Letting the bastards win? No.

Don't let the bastards win. Keep going. You don't know what's after this hill if you don't keep going.

If you join a team, and one specific member is combative to your inclusion, take note.

I failed to take note when i first got to the country i'm in now, but i won't make that same mistake a second time.

If you downplay my recommendations, rooted in history and experience, I'm going to get the "learn the hard way mallet".

If your linkedin is vague or missing altogether, that's the first flag.

If coworkers "rat" out my conversations to you, that's the second flag.

If you take my recommendations and use them in a meeting as your own, that's a third flag.

Don't be toxic folks, work together so we all can do less long term. That's the whole damn point of being a TEAM.

Bullies, and toxic coworkers that dismiss experienced new team members, take note.

Your time, is up.

I got called an alarmist for warning we should be doing basic due diligence to protect the business.

Cool.

Glad to know doing backups and ensuring DR is ready is *checks notes* alarmist.

LOL...sigh back to it.