I been in this fandom for over 10 years now, but I don't know. I struggle to feel like I am a part of it, and I cannot keep up with the latest cliques and memes, and cons feel alien to me now like the normies took over and this autistic awkward puppy just no longer has a spot. I'm to shy to speak up most of the time and I find I am just too awkward for the fandom I used to feel like I belonged too. Sometimes I wish it stayed on FA and the fandom stayed small and personal, though I know it was far from perfect.

However, I cannot say I have not made friends, because I have, but at the same time those friends are so far away, and I'm always busy working, and despite working so much I don't have the money to travel to anyone. Even then, I can't keep up in long conversations or meet any of them. Maybe I just burnt too many bridges when I was younger tossing friends to the side. I know I was an ass, I look back and regret being so. Now I feel like everyone has their group and I just can't find that "fur family" anymore.

Eh I'm just venting a little. I wish I did not work so much. I miss the old days and wish I accepted myself sooner. I wish a lot of things.