This is a friendly reminder that the theater is BYOB. Bring your own butter—we do not provide it for our popcorn. And don't be chintzy—get the fancy stuff.

If you’re a member of ICE, stop by the box office for two free middle fingers. Stay woke, kids!

We billed it as a "premium cinematic experience". Turns out, "premium" meant watching The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, "cinematic" meant on a projector stolen from a middle school, and "experience" meant eating unlimited chili corn dogs while the restrooms were "under renovation".

This weekend, we’ll be showing only the odd numbered Star Trek movies.

For the last time, cinema is NOT short for cinnamon enema.

Our HR department died as they lived: Telling us no.

In unrelated news, please ignore anything that looks like a Netflix menu prior to the film.

While The Matrix is a wonderful piece of cinema, we would like to advise patrons against accepting any red or blue pills offered to them by strangers outside the theater.

We would like to formally apologize for screening Watership Down at our first (and last) annual Bring Your Pet to the Movies Day. Frankly, we're surprised that so many people have pet rabbits.

Nobody puts baby in a corner. Childcare is available for Tuesday matinees in the “Thunderdome” rope circle.