hey mastodon I’m still here btw

drunk toots just don’t hit the same

this hour feels like..: I beat the level boss, and now I just get to explore and pick up stats.

New Year’s Eve is like friend Christmas

ok who here is watching Are You The One season six because holy SHIT

“one hand in the bottom hole….” “is worth two in the bush”

“What does the skeleton with a fucking uh wine for a dick tell his therapist? uh… Help!” [skeleton falls off his shoulder]

doing a daily skin peel is like force rebooting your computer every day. do not ask me follow up questions.