Coming out letter for my mom - Lemmy.World
I decided to come out to my mom by sending her a “letter” to make it easier for
me but I’m not sure is it good enough. Main things I want her to understand are
how I feel, that this didn’t happen overnight and that it’s a big problem for
me. This is what I wrote (translated to English): “Something is bothering me for
some time now, I want to explain everything here. It’s hard for me to start
conversation about this so to make it easier for me I wrote it. I know this will
be hard for you and I want to give you as much time as you need to process it.
Only thing I want is support, all of this is already very hard for me so if we
made negative atmosphere it would become even worse. So, I’m pretty sure that
I’m transgender. I don’t know what you heard about trans people in media so I’ll
try to explain how I feel. To put it shortly, it’s awful. I don’t feel good in
my own skin. Whenever I’m not distracted by school or hobbies I feel really bad.
I don’t like how I look and sound and how others see me. I can’t dress how I
want. I feel like I’m wearing a costume because of others. A costume that I want
to remove but can’t. I feel envy towards women, sometimes I can’t even look at
them because of it. As times goes things become worse and my wish to do
something about this is growing stronger but I’m scared. I’m scared of potential
reactions of others, especially family members, and that I would be rejected. I
wanted to come out to you first because I think you won’t disapprove me
immediately and at least try to understand me. Like I said, support is really
important to me at the moment. If people reject me things would become worse. I
want to go to a therapist as soon as possible, that would be the best solution,
but I wanted to tell you everything first. I don’t want to do something like
this behind your back. I also want to tell you that this isn’t something recent,
I’m just able to better understand my feeling now that I’m older. For years I
wondered how it’s like to be a girl, I wanted to experience it for a short
period. I had dreams where I became a girl. I thought it’s normal and that
everyone experienced it from time to time. Anything that has something to do
with changing gender was interesting to me, especially male to female. I thought
it’s just a fetish. When I realized there is more to these feelings I tried
convince myself I’m just making it up and that I can’t be trans. It was hard for
me to accept myself as transgender but after some time I couldn’t find a
different explanation. Stubbornness and fear were only reasons why I couldn’t
accept myself. I’m sorry for not telling this sooner, I want you to understand
that it’s hard to talk about this. I’m scared that others will reject me but I
also want to do something about these feelings in order to be happy. And, again,
support means me more than anything. I’m sure that you have feelings of loss
while reading this. I’ll always be me, things like this won’t change that. If
you blame yourself for this, please don’t do it. You and dad, or anyone else,
aren’t blameworthy. No matter what you did in the past I would get here at some
point. If you read all of this, I want to let you know it means a lot to me.
When you are ready to talk about this just tell me, it’s easier now that I
shared these feelings with someone. This should remain between the two of us,
others shouldn’t know about it at the moment.” Is this good? This is really
important to me so I want to approach it in a right way and feedback would be
really helpful with that. Important note: Verbs and adjectives are gendered in
my native language. I used masculine forms because I feel like that would make
things a bit easier for her. Should I keep that?
