I just realised typing itself almost functions like a fidget toy to me. Sometimes I just write a comment or type just for the sensation. Especially feels good to try and type as fast as I can.

Yeah been an on/off problem of mine for half my life now, something about both the nicotine and the ritual. I haven’t really found anything to replace it with, chewing gum kinda does it a little bit but it’s not quite the same.

I used to take my glasses cleaning cloth and roll it up like if I was rolling a cigarette, that’s another one that relaxed me but I haven’t done it in forever.

Based on what you said about viewing music as a kind of language that can be written down and understood, I actually want to suggest something maybe a little less conventional: Making music in a DAW (digital audio workstation - basically software to make music) on a computer. Depending on the keyboard you have, you may be able to plug it in and use it to control instruments in the DAW.

The reason I think you might actually enjoy getting started there is because it’s a great way to dip your toes in different areas of music without much experience.

Your very first song attempt will likely have you learning about creating melodies, scales, chords, bass, effects, song structure, etc. You won’t necessarily learn a LOT during that first song, but you’ll learn a tiny little bit about many different musical things. And you’ll get to experiment and make something fun in the process. Your first songs will probably sound a little goofy, but they’ll be your very own creation - rather than just someone else’s song you’ve learned to play.

As you make songs, you can search up tutorials on each of the things you want to learn, like “drum patterns for [genre]” or “how to make a catchy melody for [genre]”, or “how to use reverb properly” or “how to structure a song”, just search up things as you run into the need for them. Or even follow complete tutorials for making a song from start to finish, and then experiment and add your own spin on things.

With each song you’ll get progressively better, and learn more about music, and all of these lessons can translate into learning musical instruments too. You’ll get understandings of things like scales, and chords, and basic music theory. Then if you learn any instrument you can even record it and incorporate it into one of your tracks!

Just thought I’d suggest this because like you I very much view music as like a language to learn, and I struggled to learn various instruments with little initial success - but then found myself drawn to making music on my computer and have fallen in love with it!

I had an uncanny experience like that as a teenager with an “NPC like” character. I was walking around a small cul-de-sac, and there was an older woman standing in front of her house, completely frozen in place, just staring off into the distance blankly.

As I’m walking past she suddenly looked at me and barked out rather aggressively “Do you know what time it is?”

I checked the time on my phone and told her it. She snapped “NO! It’s [completely different time]”

Then she just glared at me in complete silence. I started walking away and she just turned her head, watching me, but not saying another word.

She didn’t move from the spot she was standing on.

That said I blame dementia, psychosis, drugs, or otherwise failing mental health before I’d jump to the nothing is real or everything is a simulation conclusion.

I’m not aware of any other public 2009scape servers other than the official one, I figure most people who want multiplayer with more than just a small group of friends just play there.

But I’ll second what slazer said, grab the singleplayer version and play that. That’s what I do when my OSRS sub isn’t active. About to boot it up and play a little as we speak actually!

I like this site for calculating where you line up strength standard wise. It’s not perfect but I think the numbers it gives are pretty reasonable.

As for your question, I’m not sure of my actual 10RM but the last weight I lifted for 10+ reps was I believe 112.5kg, @ 79kg BW.

I always use a timer to start off but sometimes will switch off the timer and continue meditating for an unspecified amount of time on days where I feel up to it.

Without a timer I tend to start wandering off into thoughts about whether or not I’ve been meditating long enough, and I find that incredibly distracting from the process. When I know I have a timer/alarm going off at the right length of time, I can put my mind to rest and not think about how long I’ve been meditating.

Also if I’m getting back into meditation after a period of not keeping up with it, I sometimes break my meditation down into smaller chunks. Even though I meditate for the same length of time, having alarms spaced closer together makes me feel like it’s taking less time, so eases me back into longer sessions.

I struggle with this a lot, it doesn’t help that I have crippling social anxiety so I already feel nervous about reaching out, then proceed to forget, then feel 10x as nervous because I feel guilty about my delayed response. All of that results in me not responding for even longer and making it worse.

Then I finally respond, feel so rubbish about the whole thing that it takes me forever to respond again.

So many of my online friendships have turned into basically penpal type arrangements because I get so delayed with my responses because of this.

19,483 here, and that’s just my main email. 💀