@[email protected]
1 Followers
0 Following
1 Posts
Show threadbradorsomething1d ago
That’s not what your mom said.
bradorsomething1d ago

New Democratic “Your Mom” Talking Points Throwing Republicans in Turmoil [OC]

https://ttrpg.network/post/38958169

New Democratic “Your Mom” Talking Points Throwing Republicans in Turmoil [OC] - The TTRPG network

(Washington DC) After years of “if they go low, we go high,” Democratic lawmakers have begun reversing course, leaving Republicans in a panic. Last Friday, in response to Congressman Gary Palmer’s (R-AL) claim all Democrats want to hurt America, Eugene Vindman (D-VA) replied “well that’s not what your mom says, Gary. She likes us just fine.” Later, responding to Palmer’s outrage, saying his mother is in a grave in Alabama, Vindman doubled down. “Are you sure, Gary? Because that’s not what your mom says.” Palmer had no response. This new tactic has Republicans confused. “Democrats are naturally a passive species,” said one political biologist. “When attacked, their natural response is to curl in a ball, and say something lukewarm about Medicare. This aggression suggests Democrats may be developing a spine - or at least a spine-like adaptation - to the MAGA movement.” Republicans are outraged at the idea. Tim Berchett (R-TN) said, “I didn’t come to Washington to talk to children, I prefer dealing with an adult.” “That’s not what his mom says,” countered Maxine Dexter (D-OR), giggling. “And his mom said that for both her, and her widdle son.” House leadership is calling for decorum. House minority leader Hakeem Jefferies (D-NY) said today, “Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) told me today that he understands why everyone is worked up. He hopes we can come together and stand behind each other in unity. He said both these things.” “No wait, maybe it was his mom,” Jefferies added. Most alarming to Republicans is the warm reception their base is giving the insults. Leo Sturbgetter, a cow detangler in Maryland, said: “today Rick Scott (R Senator-FL) said he wasn’t going to bend over to Democratic pressure… is he paying attention? Man, maybe I’m in the wrong party… I can handle inflation and $5 gas, but I can’t be seen with a party of idiots.”

bradorsomething6d ago

Seeing Eye Cat Program to Close Following Third Death in First Week [OC]

https://ttrpg.network/post/38727724

Seeing Eye Cat Program to Close Following Third Death in First Week [OC] - The TTRPG network

(Bangor, Maine) Citing poor satisfaction among participants and facing multiple lawsuits, the Watchful Pussy Seeing Eye Cat Program is shutting down in Bangor, sources said Sunday. Participants say while the program has tried to be helpful, “cats just don’t care if you fall down,” as one blind participant said. The innovative program attempted to match blind participants with cats trained to aid and guide them through their daily lives. The cats, rescued from shelters and trained using guidelines for other seeing-eye animals, seemed to respond well to the stimulus training, but “returned to being furry little assholes” after being placed in the field. “Sammy was really nice the first day,” said one trial participant. “But day 2, he would only meow next to the food bowl, and when I tried to put his harness on to go for a walk, he jumped on a shelf and started knocking things down on me. I mean, I get it, he’s a cat. But I’m blind, I can’t run around chasing a cat to get my shopping.” Other participants also cited unruly behavior as a reason they went back to a canine seeing companion. “I’m allergic to dogs,” said Grace, a 31-year-old woman who lost her vision to disease. “But a dog won’t guide me in front of a semi if someone is carrying a fresh fish. I almost died, and that little monster clawed me when I yelled at it. I’ll take the Benadryl, thank you.” Program developers agree that in hindsight, cats were a poor choice for service guide animals. “Cats are just really cuddly, so we thought they were an untapped resource waiting to be exploited. We should have considered the proverbial wisdom that ‘your cat may love you, but if you die they will eat your corpse.’ I just never thought that would be more than an expression, and I am so sorry to the family of our study participant who had that happen.”

bradorsomething6d ago

Trump Vows to Keep Ending Iran War Until There is Peace [OC]

https://ttrpg.network/post/38727342

Trump Vows to Keep Ending Iran War Until There is Peace [OC] - The TTRPG network

(Tehran) The White House announced Monday that an understanding had been reached to end the war between Iran, Israel, and the United States, marking the 36th such announcement since the start of the war. Trump said this was the final end to the war, but vowed to continue ending the conflict until it was over. “We have an agreement,” he said while golfing in Florida. “They’ve agreed to everything, we have a deal in the bag. But if we have to hit them again, we will, and then we’ll end it again. But the strait is open.” Leaders in Tehran responded that no deal had been reached, and made the proactive step of announcing that the next end of the war would also be fictitious, and probably the next as well. “Statistically we believe he’ll announce the war ended 4 times this week. None of these will be real, but feel free to pretend along with him. Just don’t look at ship traffic.” Ship traffic remains light in the Strait of Hormuz, as both Iranian and US blockades interdict shipping, despite US claims of peace. Some feel the President may be attempting to campaign for the Nobel Peace Prize with his claims. Leo Sturbgetter, a cow detangler in Hawaii, said “not many men can say they ended a war once, much less 35 times. God bless the President for not giving up on ending the war over and over, just before the stock market opens.”

Show threadbradorsomethingJun 15
This must be that non-consensual himdie I keep hearing about.
Show threadbradorsomethingJun 15
Contact the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) and they can probably help point him to a group interested.
Show threadbradorsomethingJun 11
That’s ridiculous, that would lead to mass unemployment in the funeral industry.
Show threadbradorsomethingJun 7

For the military, think about Amazon. They can get you a new dildo tomorrow because they have a huge infrastructure of warehouses around the country. The US has a world network of “supplies” for war that will be reduced and create more risk and a time delay if US interests are threatened. In practical terms, you don’t punch an American because America can punch you back tomorrow. If the US maybe can punch you back next week, you’re less concerned with ignoring their interests.

Practically, the local economies will hurt badly, like the Philippines after they reduced the US navel presence. There is also a “living next to a cop” effect that has had more value in the past, but has soured like the idea of living next to a cop.

For the US, we would now need to house all these troops locally, and would end up greatly reducing force size over 20 years. A big pile of active tanks training in Germany doesn’t get much news, but a bunch of expensive tanks training next to a huge line at a soup kitchen is a great photo op.

Show threadbradorsomethingJun 7
Add a gorilla-sized bullet proof vest to that order.
Show threadbradorsomethingJun 6

The vocal cords are 7-10” down the wrong hole.

Okay, now you have me trying to imagine a penis that would fit down the trachea, and it would basically have to look like an ET tube. I would not watch that porn. Well maybe once but only if the girl was pretty.