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please tell me that the Willy Wonka origin movie starts off with him as a child witnessing his parents getting flossed to death in the middle of Listerine Alley, then later he sees a chocolate bar fly around his living room and he realizes what would strike fear in the hearts of 4 out of 5 dentists

American Horror Story: What Isn’t, Really

America: where a fetus is considered a human being, but a homeless person is not

be the folding chair you wish to see in the world

in a fight between Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg, I hope a giant meteor takes out both of them

[Elon Musk wakes up, realizes he’s been strapped to the giant fucking X]

Matt Walsh hates this photo of him standing inside a life-size Barbie box, so don't repost it or else he will be upset

PICTURED:Ben Shapiro, actual size