I took Gymkata for self-defense but I was still getting my ass kicked because there was never a pommel horse or wood rings around during confrontations.

Wife: You can't spell bananas?
Me: I'm not really into Gwen Stefani.

"Coffee makes me go boom-boom"- The kind of stuff I used to tweet.

I thought I was watching "SOTU Address" but it was "Cocaine Bear"

When a Hooters gets closed and boarded up, it's called a Hootertectomy

M3GAN 3.0- Epstein Island.

If a female hockey player gets a hat trick, men are required to throw their briefs onto the ice.

I only watch curling for the fights.

Spell check needs to do butter.