My mom: “Your cat keeps hissing when I walk by.”
Me: “She’s whispering I Love You.”
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Andy Erikson
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2021 Launch Pad Mentor Selection • Scream Queens on Fox • NBC’s Last Comic Standing • Squirrel • https://andyeriksonwriter.com
If I were to recreate the Universe there’d be a lot I’d want to change. But I’d definitely keep kittens and puppies.
I thought it would be fun to put three m&m’s into a peanut butter cup and now I’m having nightmares.
My little nieces were begging my husband to give them airplane rides, and he made them draw tickets and go through TSA first. 😂❤️
I get more compliments wearing my Pokémon hat or my cat backpack then I ever have while wearing something expensive or “fancy.”
Sure, some people think it’s childish. But it’s cool to connect with other people while also feeling happy and myself :)
On December 30th I like to celebrate “Old Years Eve”
(Someone remind me to tell this joke next year.
I thought of it too late.)
Most couples kiss at midnight. My husband and I counted down from 10 and then both farted.
Then laughed for way too long.
#HappyNewYear everyone!
Anyone else wish the new year could start at 7pm for once? #goodnight
I went to a weird holiday party this Christmas. We all did hot yoga until we were exhausted and disgusting and then we voted on who looked the worst.
It was an ugly sweater party.