Fireworks? I'm doing panic attacks tonight. If I close my eyes, you and I see the same thing. Lets just drink and not talk about it

Thomas Massie might have a better Trump impression than Robbie Bernstein

Wait, is illiteracy really such a problem that McDonald's actually has picture menus on hand?

"Sorry, Please Drink Another Beer"
That's what I call losing the battle but winning the war

Matrix might be down again. @mu just wanted to tell you that Pendulum was insane last night. They put a hole in the floor with how many people packed it and were jumping and dancing.

Uh oh, last time you were waiting for me, I learned about goldfish heaven

The dog just went into heat. I guess you can say she got dat drip 😏

Its a sign! We've been playing God with Buckley's trampoline and now God is playing God with us. And he's a lot better at it. I refuse to touch this portal to hell