I'm so done with my dad... - Lemmy.world
Frankly I just don’t even know where to start, I hope this is the right place
for it and if it isn’t I whole heartily apologize! I just have to get this out
of my system because it’s been eating me up forever now.
So I’ve had my probably a hundred’s fight with my dad today. It was pretty
small. I made lunch and sat down at the dinner table where he’s always working,
first thing he says, “This is not working…” which he always says when he wants
me to help him with something. I replied, “sorry, but I’m not sitting here to
help you” I know it sounds blunt, but I’ve had so much pent-up anger and sadness
from him, I just have a really hard time talking to him anymore. It all kind of
started a couple year’s ago, to be honest, I’ve only really remembered my dad
for how he is now, but my mom always tells me he used to be very different.
Years ago, he had a burn-out, and he became sick, he had a hard time working and
became extremely grumpy and just, in my opinion, not a very nice person to be
around. This only became worse around 3 years ago when he actually had to stop
working, and he’s home now 24/7. I know he’s sick and has issues, but he’s never
pleasant, he never remembers anything I tell him, he’s always grumpy. When we
eat dinner together, my dad usually says nothing, or he is extremely judgmental
about everything. Sometimes I feel like my mom wants to cry because of the ways
he reacts to her. Yesterday he gave our rabbits something toxic (because he
didn’t care to look up what they were allowed to eat) all he does is just brush
it off “ooh… they’ll be fine” and then he gets angry at me for being pissed of
that he doesn’t give a single shit. One thing which hurts me most, which I don’t
even think he knows, is his comments on LGBTQ people. A while back, my little
brother (who knows I’m bi) kind of started talking about LGBTQ people and one of
the first things my dad said was “I have nothing against them as long as they
stay away from me” like what the hell. He’s also extremely racist – to be
honest, my little brother is too, which bothers me a lot, but everything just
builds up. Lately, I think he noticed that I don’t want to be around him
anymore. I hate him. I just want him to disappear out of my life. I feel like I
don’t have any good justification for feeling this way, and it makes me so
angry, he doesn’t hit me, he doesn’t curse at me, he’s just him. Frankly I just
don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore, I feel like such an asshole for
hating him since he’s my dad, but he doesn’t make it easy for me to change it.
My mom always brushes it off when I talk with her about it. She knows that I
don’t like him anymore, but I think she’s trying to change that. I tried talking
with him, all he ever says is that he can’t do anything about it because he’s
sick and that I should be the one giving him a pass for everything basically,
which I don’t think is fair at all. I told him so many times that if he knows
he’s forgetful, just write things down. If he knows he gets annoyed quickly,
just take things slowly. If he knows… whatever… all he does is just tell me he’s
sick. I don’t know what he has, I don’t know how he feels, all I see is an
angry, grumpy, forgetful and unpleasant person every time I see him. He doesn’t
communicate – and at this point I would rather not listen anymore, I’m so done
with him, and I’m so tired.
