Made matzo crack for tomorrow’s work potluck but I just want to eat all of it now.
Valette "Lady Pants" Keller
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Played with some honeycomb grids in the studio and love how they came out.
Self-portraits, eye contact.
Why doesn't the afterlife have its own social media platform? Is Jesus everyone's friend a la Myspace Tom? Also wouldn't Facebook be more of a Hell thing?
This is my best Facebook story and gets the best reactions at parties because what the everloving fuck
For months afterward "Grandma" would make a post whenever a close friend had died, welcoming them into heaven.
Another call to my mom:
👩 "I am unfriending dead-Grandma from Facebook because I just can't with this anymore, and I don't care if anyone is upset about it."
👵 "That is a great idea."
Reader, she had in fact died and my aunt had posted as her.
Six years ago today my grandmother made a post on Facebook about how nice it was to finally be in the arms of Jesus.
Prompting a phone call to my mom:
👩 "Did Grandma die???"
👵 "What??"
👩 "Because I think she's Facebooking from heaven??"
👵 "... let me call my sister, I'll call you back."
@franciecashman Hello! How are you?
Gym locker room smells like pot