One thing I didn't say... I guess I was still thinking it through...

that question, about whether you're still having sex with the other person

how do you even answer that... safely... in the context of coercive control... neither of those answers... reflect the truth of things.

My nervous system unravelled as I prepared to leave because I had to expose myself to another abuser to get out.

And nobody could hold space for that… for what Centrelink are like.

For what the system does.

People ask you why you didn’t leave earlier.

The system is set up in a way where you don’t feel like you have any options.

The Voice recording tells you that Centrelink take a strong stand against domestic violence and they ask you to step forward if you’re experiencing it. Then they treat you exactly the same way. It's not just one bad staff member. It's baked into their very processes. The form shows it's the whole system.

Your body’s reaction gets shamed by most people, too. The system is generally considered neutral, just a part of how things have to be to run society.

The questions are to stop fraud. They're not *personal* and what are you expecting anyway? Being treated like a fraud or malingerer is just a natural consequence of needing help.

Like being murdered is a natural consequence of not repaying Tony Soprano.

You're not supposed to feel it like it's personal. Even if the form pretty much has no use outside of the context of escaping coercive control.

The whole thing feels exactly like what you're trying to escape. It's institutional violence using the same kinds of force underpinning the domestic violence.

Right down to the use of ontological force to stress that you are perceiving that incorrectly.

You're not. Your body knows exactly what this feels like for a reason.

if you don’t know that you need to speak to a social worker, they will not volunteer this information to you.

You will generally only find out about it because another survivor has told you, or a social worker from an organisation like Relationships Australia or the SA Health Adult Safeguarding Unit told you.