[Team meeting]
Smartphone developer: …so that is how the new message feature works, it is called ‘predictive text.’
Nostradamus: Whoa, predictive text is basically my thing, are you trying to replace me? Fuck! I should have seen this coming!
Oh, you think you are so smart because you are a Doctor of Philosophy? Well, the initials should be D.P., not Ph.D., brainiac.
A metaphor is like a simile.
They both compare two notions,
By using an analogy.
Metaphors just use more devotions.
My takeaway from art school: If Monet and Manet were friends, I bet they would have a running joke about how similar their names are they brought up whenever they ran into each other.
Embellish your vocabulary by using unusual terms, like instead of saying “nose,” call it a “booger mine.”
People who dunk on other people’s food posts probably laugh at children’s artwork and kick puppies.
Back in my day, we had novelty hard hats with cup holders and drinking tubes and didn’t have to ask someone to hold our beers before we did something with impaired judgment.
You're officially an adult when you can let your parents scroll through the photos on your phone without getting nervous.
“You know how lawn darts were banned for being dangerous? What if we made them even more deadly and gave them to intoxicated people?” — The inventor of throwing axe bars
Pros: Leaping, can lick own balls
Cons: No opposable thumbs, can only play at night once a month https://beige.party/@StefanThinks/114390934422733745
Stefan (@StefanThinks@beige.party)
Me, at 3am, 40 years after seeing Teen Wolf: Wait a second, how is being a werewolf going to give you an advantage in high school basketball???
