Soupcan Steffans

60 Followers
97 Following
83 Posts
Unofficial fan account
PronounsHe/him
Still only the second worst symbol in a Zelda game
Heading to the Goatse Store, anyone need anything?
Imagine how much better the music could have been if the Thompsons had triplets, or even quadruplets
I'm sorry I sat on your glasses. Take them off first next time.
✨️ Be the fuckaas bitch you want to see at Home Depot ✨️
Haven't read the news today, anything good
Jesus Christ, Shaq.
Squinting and removing my cunnilingus glasses from my shirt pocket
science

Boss: Why is your work only 80% complete?

Me: Oh, yes! There’s a very good explanation for that.

In my last performance review, you noted that I was exceeding all expectations, but that you were only giving me a 4 out of 5 because you “never give 5s” because “there’s always room for improvement.”

As a result, I’ve taken the initiative to deliver at 4/5 capacity to ensure I’m performing according to your expectations.

As we’ve already established, I’m easily capable of performing at and above 100%, so please let me know once you’ve adjusted my performance rating to a 5 and I will adjust my performance accordingly.