A bear walks into a bar...
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What is a pirate's true love?
A pirate walks into a bar...
A pirate walks into a bar... - Lemmy.World
A pirate walks into a bar, with a large steering wheel sticking out of the front of his pants. As he approaches the bartender, he is met with bewildered stares. The bartender says, “sir, you appear to have a steering wheel stuck in your pants!” The pirate replies “Arrrr, it’s drivin’ me nuts!”
A beautiful girl has two suitors fight for her affection.
A beautiful girl has two suitors fight for her affection. - Lemmy.World
One of them is a doctor, and the other one a deaf man. Every day, the doctor gives the girl a gorgeous rose. “a beautiful flower, for a beautiful girl,” he says. The deaf man gives the girl a large red apple every day, but never says anything. One day, when the deaf man gives the girl his daily apple, the girl asks “why do you give me an apple every day?” To which the deaf man responds: “WHAT??”
Little Johnny is sitting in class, when suddenly his backpack meows.
Little Johnny is sitting in class, when suddenly his backpack meows. - Lemmy.World
Confused, the teacher makes him open the backpack, and he tearfully does so. Sitting in his pack, is a large orange tabby cat. “Why did you bring your cat to school?” the teacher asked, bewildered. “Because my dad was gonna kill it, slowly!” Johnny replies with tears in his eyes. “What? That’s ridiculous. How do you know for sure?” “I heard him! This morning, he said to my mom, ‘when Johnny is off to school, I’m gonna eat that pussy for hours!’”
A boy asks his crush out to prom with hi.
A boy asks his crush out to prom with hi. - Lemmy.World
And happily, she accepts. Of course, the boy wants to do his very best to make this evening as unforgettable as he can. So, he goes to the local suit rental place, to rent a ridiculously fancy suit. But, he wasn’t the only one with that idea, and there is a giant line of other guys, all waiting to rent suits. But, he wants to look his absolute best for the girl he loves, so he dutifully waits in line. He then goes to the local florist, to buy the best and biggest corsage he can find for her. But, he isn’t the only one with that idea, as there is a giant line of people, all waiting to buy flowers too. But, he wants nothing but the best for the girls he loves, so he patiently waits in line. He then goes to a car rental company, where he intends to rent a super fancy car to drive them to the prom. However, it’s a busy day for the rental company, and there is also a giant line of people waiting to rent a car. But, again, he wants what’s best, so he spends several hours in line, waiting patiently for his turn. Finally, the big night is there. The girl compliments the guy on his suit, is over the moon about the beautiful corsage, and is exstatic about the fancy car he rented. They arrive at the prom, and the guy asks her what she wants to do. She replies she firstly wants something to drink, so the guy walks over to the punch bowl, and then there is no punch line.