Kind of hilarious. And fascinating.

https://qz.com/1364934/the-worlds-first-customer-complaint-is-almost-4000-years-old

4 pretty good tweets of yore:

@WilliamAder
Me: Was it good for you?
Her: Was what good for me?
Me: Never mind.

@amydillon
Koalas eat 10x their body weight every day and everyone calls them adorable, but when I do it it's "disgusting" and "ruining our credit."

@GaryDelaney
Everyone at my handwriting class seems to be single and male, it's a great place to meet illegible bachelors.

@VestaTot
eHarmony matched me with my brother twice, even though we told them the first date didn't go well.

4 pretty good tweets of yore:

@NiceLittleWife
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you'll have the house to yourself for a few hours.

@SCSynapse
So. Harry & Megan's children are eligible to be POTUS.
Way to play the long game, George III.

@juliussharpe
Tracking a package on UPS is better than most TV shows.

@alicegoldfuss
Katherine Johnson was a badass mathematician to the very end, waiting until age 101 so she would die in her prime

#twitter #funny

3 pretty good tweets of yore:

@LizHackett
If you don't hear from me for the next 6-8 minutes, it's because I went to the gym.

@jtrulez
My cat just walked across my laptop keyboard and now has a degree with an online university.

@SketchesbyBoze
girls don’t want to hear “songs,” they want to hear the voice of their ex-fiance—humbled, repentant, wounded by a fire that destroyed his home and vision—gently whispering their name in the darkness from hundreds of miles away.

#twitter #funny

4 pretty good tweets of yore:

@ianduhig
Never insult an Italian baker. He'll beat the focaccia.

@faux_ma
Mother in law: why do you grow so much sage? You don’t even cook with it.
Me: I burn it when you leave.

@GilbertLiz
A friend shared: "Not my problem" in Polish is "nie moj cyrk, nie moje malpy." Literally "not my circus, not my monkey." I can die happy.

@rachelle_mandik
if a frog burped how would you even know

#twitter #funny

3 excellent tweets of yore

@FelicityHannah
My 4 yr old nephew's hobby horse is called 'my noble Steve' because he misheard the word 'steed' and I am dying.

@LizHackett
ME: Why can’t I sleep?
CUP OF COFFEE FROM 4 PM: I’ve put together a list of everyone who might be mad at you.

@chrisiduffy
"One day I will combine my two loves: boiling hot water and the sound of hammering at night" -The inventor of the radiator

#twitter #funny

4 pretty good tweets of yore:

@BDGarp
I seized the day once. What a fiasco.

@KattsDogma
"I'll see you in helvetica!"
- damning with font praise

@Shenanigans_luv
I may not be “sophisticated” or “attractive” or “intelligent” but the 4 pounds of butter in my freezer says I’m living my best life.

@tomtomorrow
Fox News: You are independent and think for yourselves!
Viewers: We are independent and think for ourselves!