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Game writer at Creative Assembly Sofia.
(My ADD tells me I'm failing hard at this job and I'm an idiot for thinking I could do it, and that I should include this in the Bio, as an important bit of context. [The context thing is actually my anxiety striving to overdetermine every statement I make.])
He/him.
@sinvega Certain stimulants are also prescribed for people with narcolepsia -- maybe some of the side effects refer to that group.
For me, too, it's inconceivable how my stimulant could induce anxiety. The few times I took a double dose on my own -- there's no infrastructure in Bulgaria to support stuff like scheduled increases, reassessment, etc. -- I actually felt even calmer and more dialed-in.
Appetite is another matter but I've always self-suppressed it to some degree (for money reasons).
@sinvega This "not exactly" anxiety is something I'm very familiar with. I think it might be some form of ingrained hypervigilance and hyperfixation on the presentiment of failure/things taking a bad or nothing turn. The difference from anxiety for me is that others seem to mentally thrash around in response to that presentiment, and I just grit my teeth and wait for the blow.
My meds do seem to be helping with that part of the problem--to unclench my mental jaw and think towards simply doing.
@sinvega oh damn, what. I dare not ask what game it is, or indeed, what you mean by "emission".
@sinvega I only accept morning routines if I can examine as many of the objects in the place I find myself in after I wake up, to learn what kind of fucked up little goblin I play as.
X coffee cup
A coffee cup. Holds coffee and other liquids. For you, mostly other liquids, whose angel's share floats around and in your head.
X coffee
The coffee, uncupped, no longer a liquid, stains the desk.
put coffee in cup
You cannot return it to the cup. Don't lick it.
@sinvega I've been following the developments in the last few days with bated breath. I'm very happy it finally happened for you.
The Southern Reach Trilogy, which I finally read back-back over the weekend (had only read Annihilation before), has been another lucky case of books I've always known will speak to me deeply and hаve done exactly that. Love it when that happens.

A dev manager that got laid off today came up to me, told me I did a great job on the game we worked on together, while trying hard not to cry.

SEGA, you motherfuckers.

@sinvega I feel this so much. Knowing you can contribute to other people's wellbeing by paying attention, if nothing more, and not being able to. Or running monologues in your head that you don't have the capacity to share with people that would maybe welcome it. Or simply sharing for the sake of establishing some sort of full-blooded conversation. It sucks.
@sinvega Oh, I know... I have a flawless memory for a pfp's color scheme and zero memory for a name I checked out 10 minutes ago, then closed the tab and forgot I ever opened it.
On the flip side, no eldritch horror can faze me once I've lived into the pit of ADD.