RT @texaninnyc
Context: saw a mom trying to entertain her toddler at the grocery store, asking, "What does a cow say? What does a dog say?"

She got to, "What does a pig say?" and I so desperately wanted to answer, "At the time I thought he had a weapon, and I feared for my life."

RT @catvalente
Tired: Get woke, go broke

Objective Observable Fact: Go fash, lose cash!

RT @fakehistoryhunt
Magazines gave much better advice in the olden days.

Sorry, no idea where I found this or where it's from.

RT @AlexBlechman
Twitter Engineer: I resigned because they wanted me to work 80 hours making a bluecheck system that lets anyone pose as Burger King and say the Burger King demands droit du seigneur

Reply Guy: Good riddance slacker. I could do your job. I am pretty good at Microsoft Office