Mr SL has bought his mum a wifi speaker.
They are coming here for Christmas Day.

Have just realised this inevitably condemns me to go to their house on Boxing Day to set up the speaker on their network.

#CursedGift

Mr SL (squints) - Are you wearing my fleece jacket?
Me (Looks shifty) - Nah.
Mr SL - You are!
Me (pulls out a pack of Parma Violets) : Would any jacket of yours have Parma Violets in the pocket? I don't think so.*

* it is his though
#Cronch

Guide to sneaky turning the footie off:
- each time there is a snore, turn the tv volume down one step
- pause process if snoring ceases
- once volume off, wait 3 snores, then change channel
- reverse volume procedure
- enjoy non-football tv

Pro-tip: keep finger poised on pre-channel button for plausible deniability