Could be Anthony Jeselnik. Even if that’s not the guy you should check him out. He’s hilarious.

People dunk on Pete about alcohol because he’s been drunk at inappropriate times in the past, but I think they basically ignore the fact that he probably does a ton of blow too.

Wouldn’t it be easier at this point to keep a list of people who aren’t terrorists according to the US?

My parents raised my brother. My sister, and I grew up in his shadow.

I thought hard work would be enough to make a living.

As an American I can say the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a hammer is a good guy with a hammer.

This administration sure does love protecting sex criminals.

I went through a powerful magnet phase. Could I just carry one around sucking god from people’s brains? What do I do with god once god has been removed? Are the magnets I have already lousy with god? I don’t think I was given an accurate description of god as a kid or something.