Why is it that when I hear people talk about their "career" they are usually talking about all the work they do outside their job in order to keep their job?

Sure, I could earn more by aligning myself with a career path, but at what cost? And that's only thinking about how much time outside the job that I'd be doing all those little things that people say are needed: networking, continuing education, etc. Also add in trying to get certs or education BEFORE even getting such a career? I just don't see that it will improve my life long term.

I just want to work, earn my money, and go home. I don't want to have to think about the job while not at it.

Allow me an odd aside about a movie that didn't get much attention when it came out. It's not a great movie, but it's very atmospheric. I got to see it as a sneak peek, which is about the only reason I got to see it in theaters, cause COVID hit around that time.

The movie is: Underwater

Starring Kristen Steward doing her best Ellen Ripley impersonation, but underwater. The parallels to Alien, Aliens and The Abyss are there in spades, some of it feels in homage, some of it because it looks cool.

Deep deep deep underwater resources extractors who are probably all mildly psychotic from isolation and pressure (literally), must content with strange happenings that threaten their lives! It's Aliens, but underwater with someone who's pretty good at playing the Ripley archetype. And including T.J. Miller who doesn't know whether he's supposed to be the comic relief or not.

But it's a love letter to atmospheric experiences. Especially on the big screen, you can feel the pressure and tension. And they paid a lot of attention to detail detail detail. It's quite a beautiful movie in a certain terrifying sort of way.

It's definitely not for everyone. But if you've ever watched Leviathan and wondered if anyone was going to give the underwater treatment to Aliens, then you'll probably get a lock out of it.

The best part, though is the "Live Q&A with the Director and some of the cast". It's an experience to watch, but only After you've watched the movie. https://www.youtube.com/live/umgShXuadh0?si=ejjMMb9yGT3bb1OJ

Tonight is the first time I've watched it since I saw it in the theater. I really do love attention to environmental details! It's what makes theme parks and tiki bars interesting!

Edit: TURN THE SOUND UP HIGHER THAN YOU THINK YOU NEED IT! IT'S ATMOSPHERIC!!

TLDR: You don't Yuck other People's Yum, in any context (Food, Fetish, Art, etc.).

I will admit to a new-ish peeve of mine: Performative Yucking of food. When people are talking about food and someone feels the need to say "yuck" about something another person (or people) enjoy. At this point, it's just tiring. It has the same vibe as Yucking on someone's fetish that doesn't affect you.

And I get it, not everyone likes every different food. That's fine! But maybe don't disparage what other people like when discussing it. And, yes, I know people do it in jest, but the same can be said of a lot of things that people say that are potentially hurtful.

Also, yes, I should just "tune it out", which is something I have difficulty with. It's why I usually don't say anything. But it's like my ability to enjoy such a wide variety of foods is somehow an object of ridicule to some people. And so it hurts a bit after a while.

After finally playing the System Shock (remake), I had to buy the full game. With the overhaul, it feels so much like System Shock 2, which has been on my top list since it came out.

Next I need to get an xbox360 style controller to play Deadspace. Or get my xbx360 online and find/get a copy. It definitely plays better with a controller.

This week, in addition to the job search, I'm searching for clubs or groups that I might check out. I have to be more social and also get out of the house. I'm hoping for at least a hiking club I might be able to vibe with. My brother keeps nudging me toward volunteering somewhere.

Making new friends would be nice, but I really just need to spend more time being social. And, honestly, I need to DO stuff.

Bark.

bark

Feeling a bit better this week.

Put out a couple more applications for jobs after my brother helped me spruce up my resume a but.

Bought tickets to a couple shows at Alamo next month (Jurassic Park Movie Party and Project Hail Mary).

Looked at info on local fishing, which I plan on trying to do once a week when the weather is nice. Though I probably won't keep any to eat, it's mostly to get out of the house and turn off my phone for a while.

I also need to figure out how to be more social in general, as it's a thing that's bugging me lately.

I deleted all those recent Depression posts. They included a lot of whining that was super unfair to my friends.

I know you all care, it's just hard to feel sometimes. I had something that tipped me over into a spiral, but that's on me. I let the depressive thoughts run away with my imagination, rather than being fair to both me and other people.

All I can do is apologize and try to do better. I can't ask my friends for more than they can give, and that's what I was really doing in those posts without realizing it. I'm sorry.