Pansy Division - He Whipped My Ass In Tennis (Then I Fucked His Ass In Bed)
I’ve known the name for a while but didn’t realize they’ve been making super gay and proud music since the 90s! Not my normal genre but the songs are fun and the lyrics are wild, figured someone else here might enjoy!
What's a fun date you had, even if if didn't lead to anything?
I once went on a date with a guy who worked at Turner, which used to own Cartoon Network, and he had the old call-in number for Space Ghost Coast to Coast as his work number. Apparently they never removed the number when they released the DVDs so he’d regularly get calls from people in the middle of the day seeing if the number still worked. So he learned how to do the voice! He’d ask me bizarre questions and nailed the mannerisms while I answered, I was in fits the whole time! We ended up not feeling any romantic chemistry so we never had a follow-up, but that was one of the most fun dates I’ve ever been on.
I’m so sorry man, it really sucks. I completely get what you mean about knowing what a “healthy” response to the situation is and that I should just move on, but still having my brain writhing and wanting what it can’t have. I’d say it “just takes time”, but I did have to actively reduce his presence in my life before I noticed some healing. Basically muting him on socials, not initiating conversation with him, avoiding music we shared. And I had it easy, he was across the country! So I totally get if that’s not as feasible for your current situation.
I won’t assume your circumstances and give pointless unsolicited advice, but I do want to wish you the healing and happiness you deserve. If you ever need someone to vent to, I’m happy to listen.
Oh man, my first real crush on a guy was a former co-worker of mine. We were in different departments but our work overlapped occasionally, and we started having lunch pretty regularly. Our sexualities never came up directly, but I eventually pieced together that he was gay, and I thought I’d made enough references about myself that he’d figured it out. I really wanted to ask him out, but didn’t want to “shit where I ate”, so I resisted…until he mentioned he was sending out resumes to work somewhere else.
He ended up inviting me to his birthday bash at a bar below his apartment, and I decided that was the night I’d ask (totally blew off a friend and a good concert that night, ugh). Everything wrapped up, and I offered to help bring his gifts up to his place, and once we were upstairs I asked if he’d like to go out sometime. He said yeah, he and his friends were doing something later that week. “Oh, I meant like a date. But it’s totally cool if you’re not interested!”
I swear his face turned into a spinning “loading” icon.
“Wait, are you gay??” “Yes! Sorry, I guess I wasn’t clear about it.” “Didn’t you tell me you thought Natalie Dormer’s hot?” “I did, and I might ‘go straight’ for her if I ever had the opportunity, but no. Definitely gay.”
Once the shock wore off and we had a laugh, he did agree to a date. I spent the rest of the weekend on cloud nine, until he texted me on Sunday saying he felt a little uncomfortable with the idea, at least while we were still working together. I was disappointed, but told him I understood. We continued to hang during and after work a few times, a bit awkwardly at first because I was worried about making him more uncomfortable, but the feeling passed.
A few weeks later, he told me he was moving across the country, and I was absolutely heartbroken. Full-on sobbing meltdowns, I was barely eating, listening to sappy music on hours-long runs around my apartment in the middle of the night, completely pathetic and unhinged. We did keep in touch for a few years after the move, and I eventually pulled myself together, got into the dating scene proper, and met my now husband.
While that first crush was wild and some of the worst mental anguish I’ve experienced, it definitely helped me grow and learn to focus on what I can change and accept what I can’t. I wasn’t mature enough at all for a relationship at that time anyway; I was still figuring out my own identity in multiple ways, and I was so emotionally consumed by him that I either would’ve centered my whole life around him to an unhealthy degree, or he would’ve lost interest since I’d have stopped developing my own personality. So, I’m glad things ended up how they did, and I’ll always think of him as my first crush. I don’t think he’ll ever know how much of an effect he’s had on me, but I wish him well for it.
Cocteau Twins - When Mama Was Moth
