Dear Friends,

Coffee?

Sincerely,
Perk

Lesson #5

Friendly fire is turned on by default because your friends are assholes when they get bored.

Dear Fly,

Get off.

Sincerely,
Wall

Lesson #4

R.I.P. means "rest in peace" not "resurrection in progress".

Dear Hard Knock Life,

The sun will come out, tomorrow.

Sincerely,
Annie

Dear High,

What's up?

Sincerely,
Low

Dear Do,

Re.

Sincerely,
Mi

I want to high five the President.

In the face.

With a brick.

Lesson #3

Don't mess around with Alt+F4. That shit will mess you up.