Advisor: Mr. Trump, you have to start talking about what you’re going to do.
Trump: I did. I talked about Hannibal Lector.

Trump: I am against communism!
Citizen: What about Kim Jong Un?
Trump: Except for the ones I’m in love with.

Guy: I don’t know how so many people get brainwashed to believe dumb things.
Friend: We have to stop giving Israel weapons.
Guy: No, that’s Un-American.
Israel: Can I have many millions of dollars?
Guy: Sure. Here.

Aide: Mr. Trump, here’s a message from Vladimir Putin.
Trump: Hmm. ‘Boris, Moose and Squirrel are near!” Yes I know, I’m running against them!

Advisor: Mr. Trump, for God’s sake, will you please not keep saying stupid things?
Trump: What stupid things?
Advisor: Did you hear me just now?
Trump: Okay, my feelings are hurt!
Advisor (tearing out his hair): And he just won’t stop!

Democrat: I cannot believe the crazy ideas the Republicans are pushing this year. What’s wrong with them? What kind of people believe in crazy ideas like these?
Republican (sticking another straw in his hair): Do you really have to ask at this point? Bwahahahaha! Woo hoo hoo! Idda-eye-idda-eye-idda-eye! (Thrums his lower lip with his finger)

Certain conservative parents are protesting loudly that they should be the ones to teach their children what to think and that the schools should not teach them something different. Well guys, I think that the Capitol Riot and school shootings and such have proved that the schools have very little effect on the noxious poison you pour into their heads day and night. Maybe the parents should go to jail. Then their children would learn something useful for a change.

Democrat: I hope you know you’re voting for a convicted felon.
Republican: Yes, I know that very well.
Democrat: Then why are you doing that?
Republican: Own Libby! Own Libby! Duh! (Drools a lot)

Trump: If I don’t win the election, you guys will have to storm the Capitol again.
Thugs and Minions: You have to lead the charge this time.
Trump: Hmm. Okay, let’s come up with Plan B.

Another school shooting. There have been 35 school shootings in this country so far this year. If the public is sane and informed, they will take this under consideration when they go to vote in the upcoming election. Yes, I know, I live in fantasy land.