I had a dream last night that I was getting ready to spend the day at Disney World (we were deciding which park to go to). Then I woke up and had to go to work. Dreams are mean.

Mic check. 1. 2. Mic check.
Is this thing still on?

Continuing my 4th of July tradition.
Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!

Just a friendly reminder to end your day with as many fingers as you started it with. #4thofJuly

I have seen the movie Soylent Green. I am not ordering the Grandma McFlurry from McDonald's.

When I was a kid, I thought the term "ambulance chasers" referred to people that followed ambulances and emergency vehicles to get all of the green lights.