You mess with the clown you get the horn*

Some people get money and forget where they came from but I'm broke and I forgot where I was going

An american man only reveals his true name to his employer and a select few among his most trusted family members

A lot of people wearing sweat pants who are not leaping into action. What are they for?

I gambled on the casino seafood now its a royal flush in the water closet, feel me?

I'll sell you that bridge when we get to it

from the back of the box:
In the historic year of [1800s or 1900s] mr product moved their corporate headquarters from [european country] to america, inspired by american consumer protection law and lax licensing requirements. He brought with him his treasured family recipe

They make you sit writing essays answering questions no salary, broke and hungry for a decade then wonder why nobody want to be a scientist

as soon as I wake up I start counting sheep right away

if you are the captain of the debate team it is unwise to debate the captain of the archery team