No, in Danish the “half five” part means the same as “half past 4” on the clock: 4.5.

Then the part that most people omit nowadays, sindstyvende, means times 20.

(Half past 4) times 20 = 90.

“My daughter, I am from a distant planet. The vague differences in hue of the superficial layer of the native species is of no interest to me. Quit pestering me.”

We all think we’re living like we’re 18, until you actually come across an 18 year old and remember how awkward and awful it actually was.

But, I digress, 28 going on 29 feels an awful lot like 18 did. My birthday is coming up and I legitimately have pokemon cards and a Gameboy on my wishlist lol.

Yeah, those are the actual lyrics. It’s “all the thoughts in my head” that’s misheard.

You don’t have to put a label on yourself. Like what you like. Everything is a spectrum, anyway. It is totally fair to enjoy looking at a woman in a way that feels a little more than heterosexual, and it doesn’t have to mean you have to label those feelings as neither romantic or sexual attraction. I am just saying this to advocate for loving yourself the way you are, I’m not sure if you need to hear it specifically :D

I think the “I’m baby” is the result of using voice to text while she’s in the car on the way home. I don’t think she’s crafting messages in a way usual of anyone, she is spending the minimum time on the phone to let her daughter know she has been heard, then focusing the rest of her energy on getting back there asap.

Fold your phone in to a paper plane to enter airplane mode. It won’t stop you from receiving calls, but it will look badass when your $2000 Samsung phone makes it several feet down the cul-de-sac

In order to call your mom, you have to:

Pick a color

Pick a number

Pick a number

Pick a number

No, not that number, Nora just did that and it’s not funny to get the same one twice

Hmm, you opened Instagram

Wanna try again?

The joke I am looking for won’t need to be

Maybe in Soviet era Russia, it is implied that you must purchase the newspaper before you unfold it?