Today over on Twitter feels like the time I got a call to say my Dad was dying, I flew home on the next flight, cried all the way, landed in Dublin, got a taxi to hospital, only to arrive at my Dad’s bed where he was sitting up eating a bowl of fucking ice cream #Twitter

In the pub....
Drunk Fella: can I get you a drink?
Me: No thank you
Drunk Fella: You’re lovely
Me: I’m far too old for you
Drunk Fella: No.....you’re not old
Me: I was at your christening and I’m friends with your Mam
Drunk Fella: Fair enough

Goodnight I’m exhausted, Twitter is a feckin drama Queen

Hello I’m here……when my teenagers hangovers wear off I’ll get them to teach me how to use this