“If I had a dash cam, I could demonstrate the dozens of obviously distracted teens I’ve run down while recklessly driving through school zones. If these kids looked up every once in a while, they’d make it home for spring break.”

Simple. The Internet wasn’t invented, it was discovered. ‘Viruses’ have been aware of its existence from the beginning of time even though we so-called ‘humans’ weren’t. Source: You can trust me, dawg.

It’s actually kind of the opposite! Americans are so used to being held at gunpoint these days they don’t even bat an eye. It happens at the post office, in traffic, day care pickup. Waiters will bring the food to your table guns akimbo at Denny’s! I don’t even reach for the Tetris app anymore, it’s so pedestrian. Hope that clears it up, friend!

She liked other bacon, but Wendy’s was the only one she’d get aggressive over.

My cat did that with Wendys bacon specifically. She would try and pull it out of our mouths. She loved it so much that we’d stop after vet visits to get her a side of bacon.

They were pretty happy to volunteer the info. He still gave me the duplicate!

They absolutely are. Everything I got from my family this past Christmas was slop from the TikTok shop. They just clicked the fist ad they saw and bought whatever. I even got two of the same item because my brother didn’t realize he clicked two ads for the same thing. I’ve been calling it Dropshipmas.

Which one? There are many.

Right? It seems like they usually show up when there are naked children around.

Father Ted is also incredible and highly underrated.