Congratulations to South Carolina on being the first state to elect two gay Senators.

“You know how I know you’re gay? You’re a United States Senator from South Carolina.”

Jonah Hill. Or Josh Gad. Or Daniel Day-Lewis comes out of retirement and acts the fuck out of a fat 30-year-old man-child crypto scammer.

xkcd still has the best approach to this; four random common words

Being incredibly guilty and having a jury that's going to have to come back next week if they don't finish by 8pm is a dangerous mix.

This... doesn't seem like it would work - "Senator blahdeblah voted for 300 military promotions and also abortions are bad and for some complicated reason we can't explain in a 30-second clip those two things have something to do with each other, so anyway please vote for me, a sentient pair of truck nuts, instead"

Me fail English? That's unpossible!

Not really, no - there's not really any scenario where this ends up with a Speaker who's significantly to the right of McCarthy, and in fact it seems likely that whoever does come in next will have much less reason to compromise with the far right, because it's clear after this experience that they're unreliable partners; better to act maybe 20% more polite to Democrats than McCarthy did and get them to provide the necessary abstentions to defeat a future Motion To Vacate (or the necessary votes to take away the ability for random members to make those motions).

Second worst McCarthy in the history of Congress

And this was only like the 3rd worst thing to happen to O'Brien that day