Also, the reason all my posts are negative is because I'm a negative Nancy. Be glad I'm not a negative nonce.

Bluesky is also worse than Mastodon because the character limit is like 200-something or whatever. When I see a post on here that's like a full article I gotta scroll through, I obviously reach for the rope. But having to limit yourself to 200-something characters is pretentious and cringe when there's also a "add another post to this post" button so you can just write a whole-ass essay but divided up in small chunks. "Tweet threads" were always horrible and begged for apocalypse.

I guess I hate myself even more than previously known since I posted a few times on Bluesky. I still don't really understand the point of "micro blogs". I think it's a collective physchosis we all entered in 2012 or whatever when we told ourselves Twitter had a positive effect on our lives. It's like if new companies just kept making POGs and people kept buying them because "you gotta have a POG alternative, you know? Love to dunk them POGs, bruh. I wonder how many POGs I can fit in my anus!"

When you buy one of my snoring stones (they're stones that snore), remember to download and read the instruction manual. We don't want another implosion kerfuffle like what happened to Algernon Jenkins and his awful son.

If Lille Skutt has a child named Minihopp (basically a synonym), then a son of Skalman would be Höljgubbe.

My sister said Ballerina is the Star Trek Picard of the John Wick guniverse.

All my opinions are vetted by an independent opinion organization before being published. I can't share them yet, since my latest opinions are still under review.