Why create AI if we can never let it out to play?

If you want to know who’s you’re friends are make an Instagram with no posts and see who follows you

Eating chocolate 🍫

“Grow a garden. JUST FCKING DO IT!!” -Nike

I have substance abuse issues but I only relapse occasionally 🤷‍♂️ if you drink enough for a year in a week are you an alcoholic still? Or just an over enthusiastic participant

Trying to decide if it’s my fault in a hater

I wish screen shots showed the cracks in your screen

Me calling the Apple developers for another iPhone: *taken speech*
“I don’t have any money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you”

I officially killed another iPhone #RIPMr.6

The bar tender said “you seem rough so I loaded that one with vodka” I looked down and the “mixed drink” I’d ordered was vodka on the rocks 😂 at least he gets it