Shit my pants at work today. Got lucky, the bathroom had a shower. Just letting the world know.

Was fucking with my cars front bumper when a security guard nonchalantly parks behind me then walks to the laundry room in front of my car. He sees I am just trying to fix the bumper so doesn't say anything and walks back to his car. Well played.

I don't want to perpetuate stereotypes but... damn Florida stop being fucked up!

Fire in the hole! If the hole is my ass after a night of too much hot sauce.

I make cold calls to the east coast all day. They don't seem too different, but calling the west coast is a whole other experience.

What world have I been living in where I didn't think to put Taco Bell hot sauce in my ramen and make the best fusion ever!?

Just got some fun news! My eyesight is odd and I can't use the VR headset a paid too much for.

You know your feet are super big when you go down stairs and your heel catches on the stair above.

Males are more shallow than women. The don't seem so because they smell, look like shit, can't dress and have shitty personalities. Women are called shallow because they won't be able to find or keep a guy unless they are pretty. It's still a man's world in 2026!

Sex in the 1800's had to be awesome! The foreplay was to not even look at eachother because it was improper. By the time you got to kiss you had to cum instantly. You wouldn't even notice the lack of indoor plumbing or running water...