Most likely the school bus driver was on their phone as well. I’ve seen that shit so many times.

I’m a school bus driver and my district bans the use of phones on the buses. I don’t say a fucking thing about it. It keeps the kids occupied and out of doing worse things on the bus, and it’s not like 15 minutes less screen time per day is going to make the slightest difference in their lives.

My company wouldn’t even let us expense tips at restaurants.

We had a CTO who was a massive coke fiend as well. Dumb as dirt, only had his position because he was married to the daughter of the company’s founder. We once had a client who had been with us for ten years visit and this CTO wandered into a meeting with them and babbled for 45 minutes and then suddenly said “so … does it sound like you guys would like to do business with us?”

He eventually divorced the daughter, who was friends with many of the employees and aired her dirty laundry on Facebook so we all got to see it. Apparently her nickname for him was “ol’ three inches two minutes”.

I worked for a startup in 1996. We were desperate for cash and started sucking up to RJR Nabisco’s venture capital division. Yes, the tobacco companies were so overloaded with cash that they got into venture capital just to have somewhere to put some of it. We had some of these guys (and gals, to be fair) visit our office for a whole day. We were a non-smoking office in a non-smoking building but these motherfuckers chain-smoked in the conference room the entire time. We had no ventilation and the smoke was so thick you couldn’t see the end of the fucking hallway. I kept walking past the conference room and coughing loudly (although I was hardly faking it) and my bosses got pissed and sent me home. I wasn’t fired because I was the only person who knew how the code worked.

We got no money from them. The only good thing about this story was that probably all those RJR Nabisco vultures died horrible deaths from lung cancer and emphysema. The only Internet-startup thing we had in the office was a fucking ping pong table, which would have been great except the CEO was absolutely fantastic at it and would obliterate us while saying “good shot” and “way to go” and “almost” the whole time.

When it comes to driving a self-propelled crematorium, I’d primarily be concerned about the internal door handles.

aerodynamic efficiency

For internal door handles?

I think a better opinion is “they are fucking his corpse and not giving him the courtesy of a reacharound.”

Fun fact: the United States hasn’t signed the international agreement banning child soldiers because the military allows 17-year-olds to enlist (although they don’t actually start their service until they’re 18).

We had an army recruiter come talk to our history class in high school (this was in the '80s). After the guy’s talk he said “any questions”?" My friend Rob said “yeah, I have a question: does napalm still stick to kids?”