Guys who schedule zoom calls for Friday at 3:30; fuck you.

Everyone is so preoccupied with their phones and tiktoks that no even slams or jams anymore. 😢

My only regret for 2022 was not watching more YouTube videos on company time.

Filing for divorce if my wife gets me a partridge in a pear tree, or any bird this year.

#lifehack don’t take any time off over the holidays so you can look super dedicated, but also don’t have to do anything because no one is there.

Avatar: way of water? More like Avatar: what are we still doing on this planet trying to exploit the natives, am I right?

Pleased to announce news from the front; we’ve won the war on Christmas.

Thus begins the delicate dance of pretending to work until January 2nd…

Washing machine quit. Santa Claus do whirlpool or nah?

Can’t believe it’s already Tuesday.