I work in public health in the US. Health insurance is always at fault, I promise.

I feel like a 24 hr readathon would heal me. Like I'd feel productive and immersed afterwards. Prolly being delusional. I get sleep at 10:30pm on the dot.

Manga: Don't Call It a Mystery

I think my new favorite mangaka is Tamura Yumi. Her pen game is strong. I didn't realize she's behind some of my favorite manga: 7seeds, Basara, and now Don't Call It Mystery.

Xenoblade quest system is very easy to navigate and it's nice to keep track of. The side quests matter here and I get a dopamine rush from completing them and leveling up.

My autism is not cute. Socializing is exhausting. I'm aware when I'm not being listened to. I'm aware of when a conversation thread never finishes or receives focus. I'm rigid. I have to work hard to convert social phrases to their real meaning or risk taking it literally. I don't find people in general interesting. I am not interested in small talk. I don't experience random physical attractions. My job isn't glamorous.

I really wish I was a normal girl.

Lack of sleep, so the worst thoughts are piercing through. The world is so fucking mean. Reminding me how small and unimportant I am. Reminding me that I can't have a normal routine right now because everything else matters more than me.

Hoping for like... 2 hours of normalcy today before my routine is trashed again.
Then I hope to find a good kdrama to dissociate to.
Anyone remember the oldies like My lovely Samsoon?