@jokes Miss Beatrice was something of a legend. In her eighties, still spry, never married, and beloved for her gentle nature, she had spent decades filling the chapel with music from her trusty old pump organ.
One sunny afternoon, the young pastor decided to pay her a visit. Beatrice welcomed him warmly, ushered him into her cozy sitting room, and went to fetch tea.
As the minister settled into a chair, his eyes wandered to the old organ in the corner. Sitting proudly on top of it was a cut-glass bowl filled with water. Floating in it was… a condom.
The pastor blinked. Rubbed his eyes. Looked again. Yep—no mistake. There it was, bobbing in the sunlight like some bizarre lily pad.
When Miss Beatrice returned with a tray of tea and scones, he tried his best to ignore it. They chatted politely, but his eyes kept darting back to the bowl. Finally, his curiosity exploded.
“Miss Beatrice,” he began, pointing carefully, “forgive me, but… could you explain that?”
“Oh, yes!” she said with a delighted smile. “Isn’t it marvelous? I found the little package in the park some months ago. The instructions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent the spread of disease.”
She leaned in proudly and whispered, “And do you know, Pastor—I haven’t had the flu all winter!”

@jokes Little Jonny was in class, diligently working on his math problems when the teacher decided to test him with a question.
“Jonny,” she said, “if there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one with your slingshot, how many are left?”
Johnny thought for a moment and replied,
“None. The rest would fly away after hearing the noise.”
The teacher chuckled, “Well, the correct answer is four… but I like the way you think.”
Jonny grinned. “Thanks, Miss. Mind if I ask you a question now?”
“Go ahead,” she said.
“There are three women eating ice cream cones,” Jonny began. “One is licking her cone, one is biting it, and the third is gently sucking on hers. Which one do you think is married?”
The teacher turned a bit red but decided to play along.
“Um… I guess the one... sucking her cone?”
Jonny shook his head and said with a smirk,
“Nope. It’s the one wearing a wedding ring—but I like the way you think!”