3 yr old woke me up this morning with a rowdy rendition of a ballad he wrote himself. It’s called “Farts on a bridge” and in his post-performance interview he informed me that it’s about “2 little guys just farting on a bridge.”
Look out, Carnegie.
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@vicedrhino Destorying my plumbing to own the libs.
@riversidewings i think he is our funniest kid.
@Empowlr Me too she’s so cool.
Found my 5 yr old upside down, doing bicycles and watching a piano tutorial on an iPad. Mind you, she’s not taking piano lessons.
Me: What on earth are you doing???
5: Nothing you should know about. [continues pedaling]
I am this great. Unstable. Mass of blood and foam.
Me: Your hands are dry. I think you need lotion!
5 yr old: I do not need lotion. I am insane.
Me: Ok. Well your arms are cold. Do you want a blanket?
5: [feral hissing noises]
3 year old: I stabbed Oliver so he bit my finger!
Me: Don’t stab people! I shouldn’t have to say this!
3: I didn’t stab people. I stabbed one person.
