replace all instances of the word 'post' in your life with 'toot'. for example. tootpunk. tootmodern. lamptoot. washington toot. first past the toot. la toote. deutsche toot. united states tootal service.
@jk ritoote
@jk the irresistable force meets the unmoveable toot

@jk toottraumatic-stress disorder

...
sorry, that's probably in horrible taste

@jk tootsterior